I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
