I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
