i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
