Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
