I want to have your abortion
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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