Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
