the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
