He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
