I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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