omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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