she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
