That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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