is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
