What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
