I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
