So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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