ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
