Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
