She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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