Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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