there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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