i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
