I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
tell me about the eggs
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