Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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