Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
