well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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