I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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