so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
