my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
