I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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