I feel like abortions should bother me more
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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