I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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