we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So many bounce houses so little time
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
