Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
