well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
