Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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