I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
