Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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