I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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