I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they need to just BURY HIM!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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