He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it glows. i had to have it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
