ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
