i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
