So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
