i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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