If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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