I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
