who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Randomize
