He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
