My first STD was from a foam party
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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